Bathroom Blues

In response to a marketing email from Sundance:

Rather than attempting (however futile) to sell me overpriced and meaningless Sundance hats, jackets and ball warmers (as an aside, I actually might take one of those), how about a strategic and organized game plan concerning the public restroom situation outside the Eccles?  Upon arriving at the theater 40 mins early so that I might have the pleasure of standing in a sweaty and overcrowded line, I was told by not one, but three individuals (ie, one man, one woman, one undecided), that the Eccles was on "lock-down" and unavailable for any and all purposes (which apparently included its restrooms facilities, which as an aside, make that bathroom in Trainspotting look like any shitter at the Four Seasons).  Would you mind explaining to me why a theater in the middle of nowhere (ie, Utah) must remain on "lock-down" in between screenings, such that any poor soul who had one drink too many is left with no recourse other than wetting his pants (two layers mind you) or walking a mile to the Marriott (which will certainly leave any right-minded gentleman with no option but option no. 1). Bet if Bob Redford needed to urinate profusely, shit mildly, engage in an upper-decker or take a masturbatory break inside the Eccles bathroom during a lock-down, his request, however illogical, would be honored.